Knowledge
Interesting Facts
More than 5,000 years ago, the Chinese
discovered how to make silk from silkworm cocoons. For about 3,000 years,
the Chinese kept this discovery a secret. Because poor people could not
afford real silk, they tried to make other cloth look silky. Women would
beat on cotton with sticks to soften the fibers. Then they rubbed it against
a big stone to make it shiny. The shiny cotton was called "chintz." Because
chintz was a cheaper copy of silk, calling something "chintzy" means it is
cheap and not of good quality.
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"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it is fit
in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto
the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be
discouraged."
Colossians 3:18-21
The
busiest time of our lives! Raising children, caring for elderly parents, car
payments, house payments, electric bills! Life Fellowship Church understands
the demands put on this age group and provides the opportunity to come
together and share the ups and downs with caring Christian friends. Young
adults are shaping the world we live in today and doing so with their faith
stronger then ever.
Christian
Parenting
When ADHD Hits
Home
Could we find hope in the midst of our son's behavior
problems?
Ross was born by emergency C-section. He came into the world
grabbing our attention, and that's how he's conducted his life thus
far. Even as a baby, Ross was extremely active and never seemed to
need sleep. He's our firstborn, so we didn't realize his
rambunctious personality was unusual—and a sign of things to come.
As Ross became a toddler, I became aware of his stubborn nature and
his inability to focus on a task or to follow simple instructions.
Since he could watch an entire episode of Barney or Sesame Street, I
ruled out attention problems. We concluded he was simply a
strong-willed child in need of discipline.
In kindergarten, Ross's teacher commented that he had a large
vocabulary and seemed unusually bright. We were thrilled, but by the
end of the year, the same teacher suggested Ross repeat kindergarten
because of his immaturity and inability to complete work. We
respected this teacher's opinion, but after prayer and discussion,
my husband and I moved Ross on to first grade.
Our son, Ross, came into the world grabbing our attention, and
that's how he's conducted his life thus far.
In first grade, things got worse. Ross was in the principal's office
every week for disrupting the class by wandering around the
classroom and aggravating fellow students. The school counselor
suggested he might have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
(ADHD), a neurobiological disorder that slightly impairs regions of
the brain.
"How can this be?" I asked. "He's making straight As!" In light of
his grades, she changed her mind.
"The problem must be at home," the counselor said, and with that she
and the first-grade teacher dismissed my son and me. I started
praying for a better second-grade experience.
Second grade was better. With Ross's improved-conduct grades, I grew
confident our troubled years were behind us. At the end of the
school year his teacher wanted to test his IQ because she thought he
might be bored in the classroom. The test results revealed he
qualified for a special program called GT (gifted and talented),
with specialized classrooms and teachers. Feeling as though this
might be the answer to our prayers, we enrolled Ross in the
third-grade GT program, believing boredom might have been the
problem all along.
We were wrong.
Ross continued to disrupt the classroom, and school became a place
of torture for him. Once, a teacher announced to the entire
classroom that Ross needed medication. We called a conference with
this teacher, the school counselor, and the principal, and even
though the teacher apologized for the remark, her frustration with
Ross dominated our meeting. I walked away without the support I'd
sought. Ross was so embarrassed by the incident, I was sure he
experienced irrevocable damage to his self-esteem. During fits of
frustration, he began to harm himself with head banging. After
school, Ross really let go and would scream for up to 30 minutes. We
were overwhelmed by his mood swings and aggression.
We enrolled Ross in sports after a counselor suggested we get him
involved in team activities. But Ross had trouble adapting to the
"team" idea, and his immaturity over missed balls and goals would
end in public displays of uncontrollable crying. One mother told me
Ross was a bad example to the rest of the team.
Ross was always sorry after his tantrums. Through tears of
disappointment and frustration, he told me he didn't know why he did
the things he did. With the same intensity, Ross snuggled next to me
needing love and affirmation.
Ross's struggles affected the whole family. Our other two children
developed the ability to disappear into their rooms during battles
with Ross. Even our marriage grew shaky as we disagreed on ways to
handle Ross's behavior. I often felt forced to choose between Ross's
needs and giving the rest of my family the attention they deserved.
I began to question God. How could he let our family hurt so, when
we really wanted to serve him? Sometimes while Ross was sleeping, I
went into his room and prayed God would deliver him from all his
troubles. I begged God to show me what we were doing wrong. God's
answer was consistent, but not always what I wanted to hear: "Just
love him, Laurie. Just love him." Sometimes this was difficult to
accept. I wanted God to heal my son of whatever plagued him. I felt
as though God had abandoned us.
Then I met Dr. Tess, a pediatrician at the local pregnancy care
center I directed. I started taking my younger children to her for
childhood ailments, and I mentioned Ross's problems during one
visit. She listened intently, then asked to sit in on a
parent-teacher conference at his school. As Dr. Tess heard story
after story of Ross's inability to focus and follow directions and
about his lack of respect for authority, she nodded confidently.
"The problem is very simple," she announced. "Ross has ADHD."
I protested. What about Ross's high IQ and his ability to focus on
TV programs? Dr. Tess explained to me that an ADHD child could focus
on television because it has changing pictures and rapid dialogue.
She also assured me ADHD has nothing to do with intellect. She
immediately suggested the drug Ritalin and gave us resources for
parenting an ADHD child.
I was uncomfortable with the idea of medication. I'd heard Ritalin
was overused for behavior control. I was also concerned about side
effects. Dr. Tess persuaded me that going through 12 years of school
frustrated and constantly in trouble could have severe social side
effects—repercussions far more serious than other side effects
experienced by a small percentage of Ritalin users. I realized Dr.
Tess's advice was an answer to all my years of desperate prayers.
Ross was on Ritalin throughout his middle- and junior-high school
years, and we saw vast improvement. It was as though the real person
who'd been locked inside had been released. His confidence grew
daily. Teachers seemed to genuinely like Ross, and he made athletic
achievements. Ross is now 17 years old and takes Adderall XS, a
slow-release drug that allows him to take only one dose in the
morning before school.
Medication has been a valuable tool in helping Ross at school, but
we still face many challenges with disorganization and impulsive
behavior. Nevertheless, I believe God will use Ross's affliction to
his glory. I've stopped asking God to change him; I've started
asking God to use him. Romans 5:3-4 says we are to "rejoice in our
sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance,
perseverance character, and character hope. And hope does not
disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts
by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us."
We don't know the details of Ross's future, but we know God loves
him and has a purpose in all our trials. And this brings a joy to
our hearts only Christ can supply!
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This article
first appeared in Spring 2005 issue of Christian Parenting
Today. Used by permission of Christianity Today
International, Carol Stream, IL 60188. |
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Humor
A mom
and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school
he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first
day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his
room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this
and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk
doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At
the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his
mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about
learning math?"
The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I
walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back
of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."
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